Friday, August 3, 2007
Ask Julia: 8/3/07
Yes, there is an Ask Julia column this week. But that’s not why I’m in a particularly good mood today: after a long vacation in Ukraine, Babcia and Dido have finally come home! I missed them so much, and I was very excited to see them yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, I had a wonderful time with Mom these past two weeks, and we fell into quite a nice routine, but it’s always a treat having Babcia and Dido take care of me for a bit.
We have a pair of Ask Julia questions this week, so let’s get to them. The first one is from my Aunt Jessica—I’ve been hoping she would write me!— who is about to start her final year of dental school and in fact just finished up her applications for orthodontic school. Apparently she’s none too happy with one of my latest discoveries:
I see that you started sucking your thumb. Are you aware that if you continue this habit for the next few years, you’re pretty much guaranteeing yourself many years of wearing braces and other undesirable orthodontic contraptions? Are Mom and Dad doing anything to prevent this?
Jeez, nice way to be a buzzkill, Aunt Jess! When you put it that way, yeah, what I’m doing sounds pretty awful! But look at it from my perspective: I like to suck on things, and I’ve just discovered my thumbs, so of course I’m going to suck on it! I do appreciate the concern, though I wonder if some of that concern is for your own financial well-being, since as my orthodontist I expect that you be supplying said “undesirable orthodontic contraptions” to me free of charge. But you’ll be happy to know that my parents share your concern. Whenever they see me sucking, or about to suck, my thumb, they try to shove a pacifier in there instead.
They’re always saying something about how you can take away a pacifier but you can’t take away a thumb, but their voices are usually drowned out by the loud sounds of my sucking, so I never know for sure what they are talking about.
Another Ask Julia question was sent in by my pink papasan seat, which has been feeling neglected lately:
I’ve missed you, Julia. For a few weeks there, we were spending so much quality time together. I know that we had a really strong connection. But I hardly see you anymore—sometimes you sit in me for a few seconds, start crying, and then quickly go away. You never call, you never write and I’ve caught you a few times in the company of another rocker, a blue bouncer with lots of lights and things to play with. I’m almost afraid to ask, but where do things stand with our relationship?
Wow, well...this is a bit awkward. Yes, I’ve been spending time lately with a new bouncer that Mom got for me.
You’re right, the two of us had a lot of fun together once upon a time, but we’ve grown apart these past few weeks. Face it, I’m a growing girl with a short attention span and I’m just not ready to be tied down to any one seat or rocker right now. That’s not to say we won’t have some fun again in the future, but right now, I just really need to see other seats and rockers. It’s not you, it’s me...but I hope we can still be friends.
And I think that’s it for the week, and another edition of Ask Julia. I’m looking forward to another fun-filled weekend with both Mom and Dad, where I plan on melting their hearts with my irresistible smiles as I toy with their emotions to get whatever my pretty little heart desires. Before you start your weekend, why not send a question to Ask Julia? Don’t keep me waiting!