Monday, February 25, 2008

Hurricane Julia

As a public service announcement, I'm passing along this weather bulletin from the National Weather Service:


Hurricane Julia has touched down in the baby's room of a Northern New Jersey home. This is a fast-moving storm system capable of quickly displacing and destroying all objects in its path. Hurricane Julia tends to pick up steam very early on weekend mornings when she is under the care of her mother, who gives her unfettered access to the room's harder-to-reach areas, causing whirlwinds of activity up in excess of 80 aspm (attention shifts per minute). Warning signs include an unquenchable need to pull out objects, discard them and seek out additional objects to upend.

If you find yourself in the presence of Hurricane Julia, please take immediate action. A pacifier is recommended, or perhaps introducing a new object to distract her attention, then ferrying her to a different, calmer corner of the home. In any case, proceed with extreme caution.

Hurricane warning will remain in effect until Hurricane Julia learns to walk; at that point, her potential for destruction will be monitored via the Department of Homeland Security's National Alert Level.